This has been an emotional weekend for me. On the one hand, I so vividly remember moments from the hours leading up to your birth. The fear mixed with excitement; the pain mixed with absolute joy. On the other, it seems like a million years ago. You are almost walking. You’re almost talking. You have likes and dislikes and a personality.
Even as you get closer to being a toddler, you’re still my baby and you always will be. I don’t know how you knew I needed it…but you gave me one last newborn-like snuggle this week. Daycare called and asked me to come get you a little early because you’d been really sad (diaper rash) and as soon as you saw me, the tears stopped and you just snuggled into my neck, stroking my hair and then finally falling asleep. It’s been a long time since you’d stay still with me like that.
I miss those days, I really do. I miss smelling your sweet little naked neck and feeling your breath on my cheek as you passed out after nursing. I miss how fragile you seemed — how delicate and breakable you felt in my arms. I miss putting your tiny little body in your big old car seat and wrapping your hands in socks so you didn’t scratch yourself. I will always treasure those times.
But this is better. You are a real person, and watching you grow and discover things (the sound a metal bowl makes when you bang it on the floor; the feel of water when you splash your hands in the bath) just takes my breath away. I know you’re from me, but you’re already your own person. I am so proud (and so terrified of what the next few years will bring us!).
You now have four teeth — the top two and bottom two. It’s been a rough few weeks breaking them in, and I’ve seen a preview of what I’m sure will be full-blown tantrums soon enough. You’ve also had what I think are some nasty allergies — and since you hate having your nose wiped, it’s been an adventure trying to keep you clean.
You can now walk holding just one adult finger for support, and truly…I think you could take a few steps on your own, but you just don’t have any interest. Just like you did with crawling and standing, there’s no in-between. You don’t squat and then stand, or try to go from one piece of furniture to another. You cruise and walk really fast when you are assisted, but I know that one day soon, you’re just going to let go and start running.
In daycare, you spend more of your time in the 1-year-olds room. They’ll officially move you up in the next week or two, but you’re already eating, napping and playing with the “big” kids, so I don’t think it will be a difficult transition. You’re still nursing and I really hope you stick with it for a while, but I’m also just proud that we both made it to 12 months. Your 1-year well visit is later this week, so we”ll find out how tall you are, how much you weigh and more.
I imagine she’ll also give us the go-ahead to start you on whole cow’s milk and after a lot of research, I think that is what we’ll do. You’re still on a vegetarian diet, but I’m open to giving you some meat — but I’d prefer to keep you largely plant-based for a while.
We love you. Beyond words that we can say or type. You are our joy, our pal and the best thing we’ve ever done, Bug.
P.S. In perhaps the biggest development…you also know how to sign “Touchdown” when you hear the word!